Thursday, January 21, 2010

I have a dream...


(via)
about BABIES!?

Ever since I read Little Earthquakes I have been having baby dreams!
My dreams go one of two ways:

A). I'm really happy and glowing and I'm either pregnant or holding my baby
or
B). I'm freaking out and my baby is breaking and I'm looking for someone to help me.

I'm sad to say that its more often a "B" dream.

Last night, in my dream, I had a baby and then I realized the next day that I had no diapers or ANYTHING for the baby and I hadn't even fed it since it was born. That was about the time that I started freaking out and the baby started crying.
It was pretty traumatic.
Mothering insecurities much?

Its really, really, strange to be having these dreams.
Late last year was the first time I ever had one and now they are just coming more frequently.

I'm assuming these dreams are coming from a deep seeded fear of wanting to have kids but being terribly afraid that I'm going to be a bad mother.
That I won't be able to handle it.

Is that a really crazy thing to even think about right now?
I'm pretty sure it is.
Especially since I'm only 21 and I'm definitely NOT ready for kids yet (emotionally OR financially) but its what I want for my future.
Pretty much the only goal I have for my future in fact.
But I don't just want to be a mother, I want to be a good mother
(while still being a good wife).
 And I want my kids to grow up with both their parents still together and very much in love like I did.
I don't want to scream at my kids like I hear my neighbors doing all day.
I want them to be able to feel how much I love them.


On another note (kind of), Little Earthquakes was a really good book. I suggest reading it.


(via)

It's basically about 4 women with babies who meet when they are pregnant and their stories with their newborns and the effect it has on their marriages.
Some of the things they talk about kind of put me off having kids. No joke.

Another thing that kind of put me off kids was watching some live births and a c-section videos. Don't ask me why I did it.
I blame the book. It got me all curious and thoughtful about babies.

I think we can only conclude one thing from all this:

I am a freak.. and possibly losing my mind.



Does anyone else ever have baby dreams?

 Anyone?

Anyone at all??

5 comments:

  1. No. I do not have baby dreams. Ever.

    Shocking, right?! Birthing videos make me want to die. Srsly. Even a pregnant belly sicks me out...you know this already!

    Glad you liked the book! It is one of my favorites! Good In Bed is even better!!

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  2. Aww, this is cute (even though some of the dreams are bad- I'm sorry about that one)! I'm sure that when you ARE ready to have a baby, you'll be a wonderful mommy! :D

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  3. I have baby dream...lots of baby dreams! We have been trying for over a year now. My dreams mostly include me NOT being pregnant and EVERYONE around me being pregnant. I am pretty sure that most of us have some insecurities in the Mommy department. Its perfectly normal to dream about the things that we worry about. You will be a fabulous mommy someday.

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  4. I have pretty much had that exact same dream about the whole not feeding your baby. It creeped me out. I also want to be a good mom, so it scares me big time when I think about babies.

    I will be adding this to my list of books to read!

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  5. I had a dream I held someone else's baby last night but then gave him back, sleeping and all. That is as far as my baby dreams go. I think I don't have them because I don't see that in my future. I don't think I'm going to have children, it is something that I guess could change but I'm pretty firm in my decision as of now.

    You will be a fabulous mother when you are ready! 8)

    ReplyDelete

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